Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Happy Holidays! and Where did Mani go?

Thanksgiving has come and gone ... now Christmas is just a few days away. Things have been really crazy for me...

Like for example:

My scanner and computer died after the Brooklyn tornado. Apple replaced the computer...like 3-4x until giving me a brand new one entirely. Scanner has yet to be replaced. I'm poor. There I said it. I'M POOR. ::Cartman's taunts to Kenny come to mind:: Hence, no pretty TaW's.

I announced to friends and family on facebook and twitter (around August-September I believe) that I was pregnant. I was very happy with the surprise. Fast forward to late October and I found out I had a mis-miscarriage (no fetal heart beat). I was at first shocked then angry at the doctor and tech thinking they were playing a joke on me. Don't ask me why I thought that but I seriously didn't believe them since there was no loss of symptoms like good old morning sickness and I waited for years (since no one can afford fertility care). I was extremely depressed when I knew it was true. 



Sister and I @ Ren Faire'10 
She's in Australia right now until the economy gets better in the USA.
Send her love (and heads ups)!

I was told I had to be operated (remove fetus) since apparently even my body can't do that naturally. I felt worthless, unfeminine, depressed and a whole range of emotions I didn't know existed like, "This dinner tastes very purple." BTW FYI the "abortion" was fucking painful. But after 3 days in bed you're like, "OK! Goodbye room! I have things to do. I'll call you." I really (for I don't know how long) became isolated and just dropped out of everything including freelancing. My heart wasn't in anything. Seriously, how can I do an awesome job and be an epic genius when my heart was put in a blender and served to me Titus style (for those illiterate your ='s Cartman and Scott Tenorman episode on South Park)?
So, like what's the good news? I get to try again next year! Well as many times as any woman wants to... *wink*hint* say no more.


On a lighter note:

Me and my husband have found a new home and are in the process of packing everything and throwing things out we don't really need. I really thought it wasn't much stuff but ... wow. Moving has taught me that men really shouldn't complain about women packing for travel. Men almost bring nothing on a trip and have to buy upon arrival, whereas women bring the house. Yet somehow men have more stuff in the home then women do. WTF? I think I'm almost done with my stuff (not counting furniture) and honestly it's like I'm leaving for a vacation. My husband's stuff is filling a room. So when your guy jokes how you bring the kitchen sink in your purse, remind him how they will need the U.S. Army to remove all his crap from your house.

2 comments:

  1. Mani, I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage -- what a terrible shock that must have been -- it's completely understandable that you'd be depressed. It sounds like you're on your way to feeling a bit better?

    I hope all your packing and moving goes smoothly -- a new year in a new home!

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  2. I don't think it be OK if it wasn't for my mother who has gone through this and has overly prepared me for general global disappointment.Things have gotten better and actually yes, still packing for the move.

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